What Are You Scared Of?

What Are You Scared Of?

    We are entering the spooky season. Halloween can be spooky, with all the tales of witches and spells, (which can be very real, btw!) black cats and superstitions. The air is cooling, and there is much more darkness. Spider webs abound and heaviness of air, clothing and food is prevalent. There are haunted houses, Vincent Price, and Jason. Pumpkin spice has been visible since August and that is definitely scary!! As scary as it can be, it can also be a lot of fun. Bonfires, reading a book in front of the fireplace, s’mores, pumpkin carving and chili are at the top of my list. In our lives, there are many things we could be afraid of. We could be scared about the economy. The state of the earth for our children’s future could scare us. Illness and accidents can be scary. We can be scared of a lot of different social, political, and physical issues. The thing that I see most people being scared of, however, is personal change. Looking deep within ourselves and seeing the depths can be very scary. But, it can also be a lot of fun. I know, it may sound strange to think that seeing our “ugliness” can be fun, but hear me out. First of all, it’s already part of you so you really don’t need to be scared to see it. Secondly, when you face it, you then get to make a decision. You can leave it alone, or make a change. So, just because you see it, doesn’t mean you necessarily have to do anything about it (free will), it just means you are aware of it. For instance, if you take a gander and notice that you are judgmental, you can choose to work on it – there is a process but I will keep things simple – or you can choose to continue being judgmental. If you choose to make changes, you will see positive impacts in other areas of your life as well. If you choose to ignore it or stay judgmental, likely nothing in your life will change by you doing so. Another example would be, if you admit to yourself that you are in a toxic relationship, you can choose to stay in the relationship and keep living like you’re living, or you can choose to change the dynamic or stay away from the person altogether and likely see drastic changes in many other areas as well. In this way, doing inner work can be scary but the fun part comes in with the awareness and changes. It’s hard to heal or change things we don’t know about. If we have a silent...

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The Key to Success

The Key to Success

  I was talking to a group and this question was asked: “With all the people you have coached, what’s the one thing that is the key to success?” I smiled. I love this question. Because the answer is so simple – but it’s not easy. It’s MINDSET. I know, I know. It is a word that is thrown around so often we have almost trained ourselves to become numb to it. Ignoring it like it’s the big pimple in the middle of the speaker’s forehead. You don’t want to recognize it but it’s hard not to. So, you change the subject, thinking there’s nothing you can really do about it. You tell yourself it doesn’t apply to you. It’s too “woo-woo”, and you stay far away from anything that resembles a crystal or smells like patchouli. The truth is, mindset is actually very scientific. Joe Dispenze, DC says the following in his book, Evolve Your Brain: The Sicence of Changing Your Mind “Whether we like it or not, once a thought happens in the brain, the rest is history. All of the bodily reactions that occur from both our intentional or unintentional thinking unfold behind the scenes of our awareness. When you come right down to it, it is startling to realize how influential and extensive the effects of one or two conscious or unconscious thoughts can be.” When you think about something stressful, your body immediately begins to release cortisol. When you are nervous, your stomach may get queasy. When you are excited, you may get butterflies in your belly. And when you are sad, you may feel a lump in your throat. These are just a few examples of how our body responds to our thoughts and feelings. So, if our thoughts can cause our body to react, why do we think that mindset has nothing to do with success? If we tell ourselves we aren’t good at making sales calls, how do you think our body will respond when we need to make a sales call? Yes, sometimes you have to push past the fear in order to make things happen. However, how much more effective (and pleasant) would it be if we just believed we were good at it? Instead of dreading making sales calls, we could train ourselves to look forward to it. WHAT???? I know this is true, first-hand. When I was about 4 or 5-years old, I was scared to ride a bike without training wheels. I was a shy, very timid child who was scared of pretty much everything. My grandmother had a neighbor whose daughter was about my same age. One day I was visiting my grandma and the...

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Why You’re Afraid of the Dark

Why You’re Afraid of the Dark

  In my real estate business clients would tell me what they wanted in a house. I would find it for them and then they would say they didn’t like it. Ummm, what? It checked off all the boxes! The problem was, the boxes they were checking weren’t drawn by them. They were drawn by society. By their family. By their friends. By their nemesis. I got better at asking, “why.” Why did they want the 3-car garage when they were a single person with one car? Why did they want the house in the suburbs when they spent every weekend clubbing, out on the town and checking out the new hot spots downtown? Once they realized that those weren’t actually their desires, we would find exactly the right fit for them and save them from buyer’s remorse. What boxes are you checking, or trying to check, that aren’t even yours? Do you find yourself working long hours to be the #1 in sales only to be lonely because you’d rather being hanging out with your friends at happy hour than sitting behind a computer? Are you staying at home with the kids when your heart longs to be a career person? What are you afraid of? Of what other people will think of you? Of what you will uncover if/when you step out and be yourself? What other people think of you is none of your business. Sometimes, once we start looking inside at what we really want, we find things we don’t like. We understand that we have been living someone else’s life for far too long. We see a dark side that we have buried and we’d rather not bring to light. I speak from experience when I tell you that bringing things into the light begins the healing process. Once that process begins, you will never be the same – in a good way. I lived a life that was not mine for many years. I will never do it again. Once you experience the freedom of being true to yourself, you won’t desire to keep up with the Jones’s. You will stop striving to meet all the goals that society sets for you. You will strive to be a better you. You will be content knowing that no one else walks in your shoes. No one else lives your life. Therefore, no one else should get the final say on who you get to be. You get to be you. So, stop being afraid of the dark and bask in the glorious light of the mirror. I promise, anything you lose by doing so, will pale in comparison to everything you will gain.  ...

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How to Kill Your Dreams

How to Kill Your Dreams

  Have you ever lost something, looked for it for hours, days, maybe even months, and only after you’d given up, you find it? You swear you had looked there a million times, but somehow, it just appeared. Or, have you ever wanted something so badly, you put all your thought and energy into it, you spent what may have felt like, or actually have been years, manifesting it and it didn’t happen? Until you stopped trying. Doesn’t make sense, does it? Well, actually it does. Often times we cling to tightly to outcomes. We panic. Our minds go into overdrive. We get anxious and worried. We start to allow negative thoughts to take over. Before we know it, we become obsessed and we believe we will never have it or accomplish it and we basically give up. We go about our life and just forget about it. What happens with manifestation is that we focus on something but then we have to give our intentions over and just go about our life. Yes, we should take inspired action. But when we become obsessed, it doesn’t do anyone any good. Sometimes we may get what we desire but we have probably driven ourselves and possibly everyone around us crazy and perhaps lost some other things in the process. We have to learn to let go. And, believe me, I am preaching to the choir here. I want to see it happen. I want to “make” it happen. We hear this so often. But when we realize that the Universe is conspiring with us to make our dreams come true, to grant us our desires, all we have to do is ask and forget about it. Relax into the knowing that it will happen if/when it is right for us. One of my coaches explains that it is like an umbilical cord. What happens when the flow is restricted? Yeah, emergency. Not good. Death could occur. The same thing can happen with our dreams. We can want it so badly that we hold tight. We try to control it. We are immensely attached to the outcome. We are killing the very thing we want so badly. Breathe. Loosen your grip and just be. Go about your life. Watch for open doors and opportunities but don’t force them. Align yourself with people and resources that would be helpful but don’t be obsessive. Walk your path. Continue your journey. Allow the right information to be revealed. You may even find that you change your vision along the way. We can think we want one thing but once we have researched a bit more or gain a bit more insight, we shift our...

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Find Your Rhythm

Find Your Rhythm

  Do you love music but feel awkward dancing in public? Are you one of those people who clap on 1 and 3? Do you even know what I’m talking about? Haha It’s kind of a musician joke. Rhythm when it comes to music is both technical and it’s also a feeling. Some people naturally feel it and some people just don’t hear it. The great thing about rhythm as it relates to your life, is that, you can find it, no matter what your talent, abilities, education, or social status. Your rhythm is all about finding who you are and then living that to the fullest. Have you ever felt (maybe you’re feeling it now) that you didn’t really fit in? That you feel like there has to be more to life than what you’re currently experiencing? That you have so much to be grateful for – so much abundance – but are still not satisfied? Do you have a general sense of discontent or unfulfillment? I get it. I’ve been there. If we are a conscious being, we are constantly growing and learning. This can bring us to the awareness that we are NOT where we want to be. It can shed light on the things we are unhappy with and if we don’t have the right tools, we stay there. In the discontent. In the mediocrity. But we don’t have to. Here are some tips for getting out of the dark:   Get moving. Literally get up and move. Take a walk. Exercise. Jump up and down. Get your body and your energy moving. Have you ever watched kids playing on a playground? Albeit there may be the occasional argument as they learn the lessons of life, they are happy. They are smiling. They are having fun. That’s because getting your body moving helps move negative energy out and bring positivity in. Meditate or pray. This doesn’t have to be mystical. This can simply be sitting with your thoughts and setting the intention for quiet or that your purpose be revealed. I meditate every single day. I’m not always the zen-like creature I would like to be, but it certainly helps because I have made it a habit. Dream Big! Remember when you were a kid and you imagined you could fly when your wore your cape? Or you played with dolls or action figures and made them talk? Allow yourself to go there now. Let your imagination run wild. Like when someone asks you what you would do if you won the lottery. Dream of all the things you would do if you had no limitations. Take inspired action. All those things that came to...

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3 Things a Year of Pandemic Taught Me

3 Things a Year of Pandemic Taught Me

  Can you believe it’s been one year since life as we knew it was changed, possibly forever? COVID-19 turned a quick trip to the grocery store into something we thought twice about. Do we really need bread? Will they have toilet paper? I better get there right when the delivery truck arrives. The list could go on. I am sure we all learned many things this past year. Here are my top 3:   I am SO blessed. There are so many reasons for this. I knew it long before the pandemic struck, however, I am more aware of it on a daily basis. I am grateful for so many more things. I don’t take for granted the things I once did. I appreciate human interaction. A simple dinner at a restaurant is a special treat. My closet is full of clothes that I haven’t worn in a year. I am spoiled to be able to order something online and have it show up at my door within a day or two. Without as many outside distractions, nature shows its beauty in glorious ways.   Time is precious. In any hardship or inconvenience, there is something that can be learned if you look for it. We lost two beloved pets this past year. The loss is felt every day. But because we were “stuck” at home, we were able to spend so much more time with them, loving and caring for them, snuggling and holding them than we would have if we had been in our old routine. I had been running late for a gig and my fiancé asked me to come by his shop because he missed me. Normally I would have told him I would just see him when I got home since it was out of my way and I really didn’t have the extra time. You know what I did? I drove the 10 extra minutes there and backtracked, adding 20 minutes to my trip just so I could get a kiss and see my man in person before I went to work. There is nothing more important than love and no one will get me to believe differently.   Where there’s a will… You know the rest of the saying. “How will children go to school if they can’t leave the house?” “How will I do my job if I can’t go to my office?” “We had a trip planned. What now?” Creativity, ingenuity, will. All of these kicked into high gear this year. We learned to think outside the box. “Can’t” seemed to go out the window. Technology took a front seat. Parents banned together to figure out ways to supervise...

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